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Welcome to Confessions Of A Pole Dance Instructor, an item on this blog which aims to document the frustrations of pole dance instructors around the world.
Read Volume #1 and Volume #2 of Confessions of a Pole Dance Instructor to catch-up with previous posts in this series. If you’re a pole dance instructor and would like to share your story, find out how at the end of this post.
Being a pole dance instructor is such a wonderful dream job, it’s such a privilege to be able to teach such wonderful people. Sometimes, it’s less of a dream job and more of an embarrassing nightmare.
Confessions of a Pole Dance Instructor: Volume #3
5 Bad Things That Have Happened During Pole Class
*Please note that some names of individuals, locations and businesses have been changed or omitted to protect people’s privacy and anonymity.
1. I Swallowed Floor Dirt
It’s quite common for pole fitness instructors to demonstrate a move while talking through it at the same time.
I was doing just that when I accidentally swallowed floor dirt.
I was demonstrating an inverted crucifix into a handstand. As I reached for the floor, I must have inhaled as I was speaking and a large piece of fluff entered my mouth.
I managed to stay cool, but it was not pleasant.
2. I Got Kicked In The Face
Getting kicked in the face is a common occurrence as a pole dance instructor. When people are learning pole dancing tricks, they’re susceptible to make sudden, unexpected movements.
A student asked me to spot her in an Extended Butterfly. No problem, until…
As she inverted into the move, she apparently changed her mind and performed a Flatline Scorpio instead. Seeing as her leg was almost poking me in the chest I stopped back… just as she decided to swing her leg out into a fail attempt of an Extended Butterfly, kicking me right in the jaw as she did so.
3. I Accidentally Groped Someone’s Breast
This also tends to happen quite a lot. Back to those sudden, unexpected movements again… A student was performing a Cross-Ankle Release. It was a new trick for her so I was nearby with my arms poised against her lower back. She appeared to struggle to return to an upright position so I gave her a little push and some guidance using my other hand. Out of nowhere, she found the strength to swing back up to a pole-sitting position, meaning than my hand got in the way of her breast and she became the victim of an accidental grope. Sorry!
4. My Pole Studio Was Mistaken For A Brothel
One evening, I was standing in the doorway of the pole studio I was teaching in at the time. It was in a busy area and it was Christmas time, so traffic was busier than usual and I was waiting for my students to arrive.
Suddenly, a short, bald man appeared and shuffled in through the door.
“You open?” He said
“Uh, yeah, but…This is a women’s fitness class,” I replied sternly.
“Oh right, yeah,” he said quickly, “I called earlier…” his voice trailed off.
I stared blankly.
“Is this Delightful Angels*?” He said while staring straight at me. Delightful Angels is the name of a brothel about 2 blocks away.
“No.” I said after a long pause.
We continued to start at each other for about 5 minutes before he shuffled out quicker than you could imagine.
The actual pole dancing students thought it was hilarious when they finally arrived.
5. Someone Threatened To Sue Me
A beginner had been attending pole lessons with me for about 6 weeks. I’d watched her confidence improve over the last few weeks, which is great.
This particular class, she’d strutted in with a full face of make-up, and her hair was perfectly done. She spent the entire warm-up barely moving as if she didn’t want to break a sweat.
There were other, more advanced students in the same class as her who were learning a basic invert, which was beyond her current strength level and ability. She was working on spins and climbs.
I was spotting another student in an inverted move, this woman shouted: “CATCH ME!!!”.
She was over on the other side of the room from me as she slipped and hit the floor. It wasn’t a nasty fall, just a bump that would have given her a bit of a bruise.
“I could sue you for that,” she said as she got up and brushed herself off.
Before I could say anything, She stormed off into the bathroom and sat out the rest of the class and threatened to sue me again on the way out.
She never sued me.
Just to clarify, even if she did sue me, her fall was her fault. See, she was meant to be practising spins and climbs along with 2 others. However, she decided to eavesdrop on my teaching another student how to invert and decided to have a go. She wasn’t strong enough for this move, nor did she have a spotter nearby. I was at the other side of the room and she took it upon herself to attempt an inverted trick beyond her ability. Stupid much?
Needless to say, she never returned to pole dancing lessons.
So, those are 5 negative experiences I’ve had as a Pole Dancing Instructor.
Are you a pole instructor? Do you have any similar stories? If so, leave a comment below or submit your story to us for a chance of it being featured on the site!
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