Last Updated on February 4, 2023
Can Pole Dancing Improve Your Sex Life? Have you ever wondered whether being a pole dancer can enhance your sex life?
This article discusses the impact that pole dancing can have your sex life – both good and bad!
We’ve written extensively on this blog about the benefits of pole dancing, both physical and mental, but we’ve never yet discussed the full impact of pole dancing on your sex life and intimate relationships.
It may seem obvious – pole dancing is perceived as sexy? But if you’ve ever been to a pole dancing class you’ll know that it can be incredibly unsexy at the same time.
Clumsiness, bruises, lack of coordination, trying to figure out what the hell to do with your legs when upside down.
Learning new pole tricks is definitely not as a sexy as it sounds. But when you’ve mastered the trick, it’s time to show your partner and read their reaction.
There’s always the possibility that you romantic partner is indifferent to your pole dancing hobby or career. Which is exactly the situation I’ve been living in for longer than a decade now.
My Experience As A Pole Dancer
I always imagined that being a skilled pole dancer would make me irresistible as a romantic partner.
I thought that any relationship of mine would feature pole dancing as a central part of our intimacy.
Boy, was I wrong.
When I began pole dancing, I was a heartbroken mess.
Recently single, 21 years old and it was the mid-2000s.
Pole dancing was just starting to break through into the mainstream as a form of fitness.
I met my current partner (12 years going strong ) when I had been pole dancing for 18 months.
I remember telling him “I do pole dancing as a hobby and have a dance pole in my bedroom“ and he stared blankly at me and said:
Then he looked at his phone.
He didn’t give two hoots about his new romantic partner being a pole dancer. His mind was not racing with thoughts of exotic strip teases and naughty private shows.
He was not in the slightest bit interested that his new, female partner had the skills of a pile dancer.
I’d been on a few dates with other men before I met him, and only 1 of the guys had the reaction you would expect – but he was an alpha-male (basically popular and mainstream good-looking) type.
So, not my type at all, which is why we only had one date. And yes, he did request a private pole dance showing and I politely declined.
Can’t blame a guy for trying, I guess.
I’ve been with my current partner for over 12 years now and he’s still not particularly interested in my pole dancing hobby!
See also: Can men take pole dancing classes?
How Pole Dancing Affects Your Sex Life Positively
Here are 5 ways in which pole dancing affects your sex life positively:
1. You’ll Be More Flexible and Agile
As you become more flexible and able to try new and interesting positions with your partner.
As a pole dancer you increase flexibility and general range of motion through the movements you do in your pole training.
The pole is also often used as an apparatus for stretching on its own.
For improved sex life, the main muscle groups to work on are your hamstrings, lower back, pelvic floor and hip flexor muscles.
There’s a simple trip to improving the flexibility in your hips.
The hip flexor muscles are an important area to work on if you want to get more flexible. They are the Holy Grail; the “hidden survival muscle” in your body that will boost your energy levels, immune system, sexual function, strength and athletic performance when unlocked. If this “hidden” most powerful primal muscle is healthy, then we are healthy.
The #1 Hip Mobility Stretch Mistake
See also: Learn How To Unlock Your Hip Flexors
2. Pole Dancers Have Stronger Pelvic Floor Muscles
As a female pole dancer, or if you have a vagina you’ll definitely have engaged your pelvic floor muscles before!
It’s easy to work your pelvic floor muscles discreetly without anyone noticing. You can do this sitting, standing, lying down or even inverted on your pole!
Simply squeeze the muscle between your legs until it’s as tense as possible, hold for a few moments, then relax.
As a pole dancer, you work your pelvic floor muscles when performing moves such as “sitting on the pole”, “crusifix” or a “cross-knee release”.
Your pelvic floor muscles help keep you stable on the pole! They also help increase mutual satisfaction in the bedroom!
If you’re a male pole dancer, you don’t use your pelvic muscle as often during pole dancing as it’s important to protect your ‘bits’ from injury on the pole.
3. Upper Body Strength Can Help In The Bedroom
Having a strong upper body helps you in the bedroom as it allows you to hold certain positions for longer without fatigue.
Many sex positions involve using your arms for support so it’s beneficial to have a strong upper body.
4. As A Pole Dancer You Learn Sexy Moves
Pole dancers learn sexy moves and are taught by experienced instructors.
Even pole dancers who only use the pole as a form of exercise and do not really “dance” are taught basic sexy moves such as pointed toes and body rolls.
The ability to perform sexy moves allows you to initiate intimacy with your partner in fun and exciting ways.
If you have the confidence to, you could devise an entire sexy performance that involves your pole at home.
5. Pole Dancing Can Unleash Your Sexuality
You may surprise yourself! Many people find that pole dancing helps them discover a more sexual side to themselves that they didn’t know existed before!
As a pole dancer, you’ll start to learn how to use your body in different ways which can be thrilling.
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How Pole Dancing Affects Your Sex Life Negatively
It’s not always fun. There are several ways in which pole dancing affects your sex life in a negative way:
1. You’re Always Covered in Bruises
Bruises, friction burns and callouses on the hands are a major gripe for many pole dancers. Unfortunately, these types of injuries are inevitable.
We like to call bruises “pole kisses”.
As cute as that sounds, when you’re covered in pole kisses you’re probably not in the mood for an energetic lovemaking session. Bruises can cause awkwardness in the bedroom.
Make sure your partner is aware that you’re bruised so they don’t cause you further discomfort or pain (unless you’re into that sorta thing…)
2. Your Muscles Are Often Fatigued & Sore
Pole dancing is a high energy, high impact sport that affects every muscle in your body! When you’re aching like crazy after an intense workout session, you may be too fatigued for a good time at home too.
Perhaps you could ask for partner for a tender massage or share a hot bath to soothe your soreness and get you in the mood.
3. Pole Dancing Becomes An Obsession
Pole dancing is addictive – OK?! It’s easy to become obsessed with your pole dancing progress so other things in your life take a back seat.
Make sure that your partner is not feeling neglected as your progress along your pole fitness journey.
4. Sex Can Leave You Sore & Affect Your Workout Schedule
Some people can feel sore after sex which can last for 24-48 hours. If this happens, it can impact on your pole schedule as you may not be able to perform tricks such as “sitting on the pole” if you’re aching after a passionate night with your lover.
If you’re concerned about this, speak to your partner about being more gentle before and after your pole classes.
5. Your Partner May Be Jealous Of Your Pole Skills
It can also sometimes be the case that your partner is jealous on how of your life is taken up by pole dancing. As you know, it can be addictive.
Your partner may be jealous of how much time you spend on this hobby which could affect your intimacy. Make sure your partner is aware that your reasons for pole dancing are personal and not because you want to please other guys.
It goes without saying that you should dedicate time to spend with your partner alone – just for the two of you to relax together and connect without any external distractions.
The Affect of Pole Dancing on Your Sex Life: Conclusion
As with everything, there are pros and cons to being a pole dancer. Both your pleasure and your sex life will be affected by pole dancing in some way; however, the pros outweigh the cons for most of us.
Pole dancers gain confidence and the strength to hold themselves in a position that will strengthen their legs and pelvic muscles. Spending time practicing your pole-dancing routine will make sex better, because you’ll be able to do things that weren’t previously possible.
But, it’s important to find balance with your partner.
So if you’re wanting to spice up your sex life or improve it, consider taking a pole dancing class and discover the untold benefits it can provide!