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Why I Really Started Pole Dancing

Confessions of a pole dance inctructor: Why I Started Pole Dancing

Last Updated on February 8, 2023

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This is the story of why I really started pole dancing back in 2008.

Welcome to Confessions Of A Pole Dance Instructor, a brand new item on this blog which aims to document the frustrations of pole dance instructors around the world.

If you would like to submit your story, please get in touch. Don’t forget to check out the First Edition of Confessions Of A Pole Dancer, the Second Edition and the Third Edition here! Or, you can catch up on all the posts in the series here

This is a story about how I started pole dancing before eventually becoming an instructor. It’s a story about heartbreak, jealousy, and self-improvement.

Here’s The Story Of Why I Really Started Pole Dancing

To protect the identity of those involved, names, locations and some details have been changed.

So, let’s start by saying that I was very naive about relationships when I was 20 years old and I found myself in a nasty situation that I didn’t deserve to be in.

I had an abusive partner. He was 26 and I was 20. At the time, we both smoked weed and drank beer together. He would often sell weed to his friends so his phone would constantly be ringing late at night. He drank a lot more than I did and would continue drinking after I’d gone to bed.

At first, everything was great, despite the drinking. We had a good time together and I was very happy with him – it’s that cliche of young girls liking bad guys. Yep. I was totally that cliche.

After a few months, he became flakey. He wouldn’t answer the phone to me for weeks on end, and when we finally arranged to meet up – long story short – he stood me up in a bar once and invited me over to his house only to go out before I arrived.

I was not only angry – I was hurt. And upset.

We did eventually hook up again a few weeks later and he gave me a brazen apology but refused to go into any detail or show any real remorse over treating me quite badly. I mean, I wasn’t just a random hook up, we’d been together for several months.

After another short while – he stood me up again. That was enough for me, I’d had enough but I was still heartbroken and trying to hide it.

After a few weeks, he became very active on Facebook – he started writing statuses like “I had the best dream last night” or “Can’t wait until later”. My heart would pound every time his name appeared on my feed.


The next day, he updated his status with a smiley face. Just a smiley face 🙂 There weren’t any emojis on Facebook at the same so it was plain old text.

There was a girl tagged in the status. I clicked on her profile – 5 mutual friends. Her profile picture was a stunning photo of a woman, about 25 years old, with long wavy blonde hair.

She was hanging upside down from a pole, but it looked like she was in a gym as opposed to a club. She was performing a move that I now know to be a simple cross-ankle release but to my untrained eye and broken heart it looked very impressive.

I could certainly never do that.

Or at least, that’s what I thought.

See also: 10 ways to improve your body confidence

Heartbroken woman crying

I was absolutely devastated, this beautiful woman who was clearly more experienced than me and was able to hang upside down from a pole had about 100000 points over me.

No wonder he lost interest.

I’ve never felt so plain, boring and unwanted in my life. I had box-dyed dark red hair at the time, I was skinny and had no muscles on me at all. This blonde woman looked athletic and toned – the exact opposite of me.

Time moved on, I also moved on and got over my heartbreak and despair.

Shortly after this, I bumped into a friend I hadn’t seen since school and we had an impromptu catch-up over lunch. She had just started her new business – a pole dancing school.

She explained how she was renting a studio and had bought poles and blah blah blah. My heart began pounding. All I could think about was that beautiful blonde woman I saw in the picture who was probably with my ex right now.

My school friend was also beautiful, but she had dark straight hair and a very slim physique. She asked me if I wanted to come to her pole dancing lessons, she already had 10 students coming 2 nights per-week and wanted to start a class on a third night for beginners.

I froze and eventually agreed to take the class.

So, that’s the story of why I really started pole dancing. It started with a bad guy, some heartbreak and some emotional jealousy!

5 years later, I become a pole instructor – teaching my own classes. I have now been pole dancing for 9 years and teaching for 4 years. I have been in a happy relationship for 7+ years with someone who is not a drunken drug pusher!!

Thanks for reading – please share this post if you can relate in any way!

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Getting over heartbreak with pole dancing

Are you a pole instructor? Do you have any similar stories? If so, leave a comment below or submit your story to us for a chance of it being featured on the site!

Happy poling!

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